You Mightn't Understand Judo If... #2

A sequel to the first annotation on some misconceptions of judo, here is another from the same site. Some of you may be wondering if I actually like this site, and if I can take a joke. Truthfully, I do, and I will contribute posts of things I appreciate about it. However, being a judoka and frequently experiencing these misconceptions regularly prompts me to address them first, and finish or continue with the better stuff. I guess I'm taking the whole "end on a positive note" approach. 
And I do actually have a sense of humour. My friends and family comment on how light-hearted I am, but for something like this where people may take the wrong message from it, I can't bear to have that as a possibility.
Anyway, another list by Neil Ohlenkamp, this one entitled "You May Be Getting Too Old For Judo If..."

1. The first and last words that you say every day is "Ouch".
   You don't have to be old to say that. And there are ways of changing that response. Get your hands on some Feldenkrais "Awareness Through Movement" recordings and rehabilitate yourself. It is the best thing anyone can do for themselves, even those with the most fit bodies.
2. The last time you gave a kiai your dentures projected across the dojo.
   Not a problem. It shows a good kiai, although not always a necessary technique. Who's to say young ones with giant mouth guards, especially for kids with braces (as I experienced myself), who could do exactly the same?
3. Your training partner always begins each move with "Don't worry, I won't throw you".
   If this older person has any experience, which will automatically involve ukemi, there is nothing wrong. We learn ukemi for a reason, and each person should be capable of throwing with a certain amount of competence that will not break their partner.
4. If you try the same movement twice in a row you consider it uchikomi.
   It's the beginning of uchikomi.
5. Your belt and your hair have both turned white with age.
   A sign of wisdom and experience. Probably a sign that a new belt should be ordered. Either way, a belt is simply a public notification of what you should have in your head. The belt doesn't make you good; what you know and can execute does.
6. Each time your training partner takes his grip he always says "Did I hurt you?"
   Your partner is arrogant.
7. "A little action" means your prune juice is finally working.
   No comment.
8. Your get up and go, like your knees, have long ago, got up and went.
   Must have been doing judo the wrong way. Again, get some Feldenkrais.
9. You are wondering if a walker is allowed in randori.
   Same as above.
10. You would rei but you are afraid of not getting back up.
    Same as above. Not an excuse.
11. Your tokuiwaza is now geezer waza.
    No comment.
12. Your favorite competition throw is a kata move.
    If the kata move works, there is no problem doing it this way. Kata is done to improve motion and style, which in turn will help technique.
13. You hate meditation because you fall asleep.
    Not an excuse to give up.
14. You barely have enough ki to pull up your judogi pants.
    Not an excuse to give up.
15. Your favorite combination is Nuprin and Geritol.
    If a little pain killing is needed, than do it. Add some Feldenkrais for good measure.
16. You do have a favorite hold-down but you can't, for the life of you, remember it.
    Get a book and look it up. Choose a new one. Not an excuse.
17. The cute new girl asks you if its really true that you met Kano.
    That's just a story to pull someone's leg. Not an excuse.
18. You are adamant that tatami, like redwood, becomes petrified with age.
    If you've learned ukemi properly and practiced them as long as you have, it's not a problem. No excuse.
19. Your Judo membership number is the Roman Numeral I.
    Show it off.
20. Your Life Membership certificate has the word "EXPIRED" stamped across it.
    It shouldn't. That's not being responsible for your business. Renew it.
21. More and more you wonder why it is called "The Gentle Way".
    Not doing the proper judo. Get back to basics, slow things down as much as necessary, and find some original material (Kano, Feldenkrais, Kudo, Mifune) to help yourself.
22. You remember when Judogi pants were above the knee.
    That's just a memory. Things change.
23. Your best technique is Ne Ne Waza (sleeping techniques).
    Not doing real judo.
24. Your artificial joints squeak when you perform ogoshi.
    If you're not in pain, you're fine. Again, get some Feldenkrais. Probably should have gotten into some of his rehabilitation material years ago.
25. You are more active on the JudoForum than the Judo Mat.
    Do what you can. Not an excuse.

I argue that no one can be too old for judo. Only in February 2013 did the last surviving student of Jigoro Kano, Keiko Fukuda, pass away. She was only a few months off turning 100 and was, and still is, the highest rank female judoka in history. She gained 9th dan from Kodokan and 10th dan from USA Judo. She continued to practice judo up until her death, proving absolutely nobody is too old for judo. Ever.

I have personally experienced it myself. My sensei, one about whom I have previously posted, is 76 this year and has been practising judo for 50+ years. He still comes every lesson, even when he doesn't feel well. He is always well enough to come and give some help and to watch. He competes when he can.